I have so much work still left to do. In my professional life and in my personal. It’s overwhelming from time to time. Today is one of those times.. I’m not sure what to do with myself yet the to-do list laying on my best continues to grow in items every single morning. While things are add nothing ever seems to get crossed off. I’m burying myself.
I’m 25 years old. This shouldn’t be this hard. This is life. I know struggles and hardships are a given. I’d be foolish to expect anything less and even more disappointed in the world than I already am. Yes, I have my issues. Some of them are ones that majority of people don’t even have to factor into their day to day lives. So what? There are other people who could say the same thing about themselves and me in comparison. Trust me, I’m no stranger to heartache. We know each other well.
In fact too well. It’s often that notion that creates hiccups along my journeys. I feel too young to be this familiar with discomfort and emotional warfare. And I certainly feel even worse looking upon myself and seeing that I’ve become so comfortable with accepting it just as an unavoidable piece of my life.
Something’s gotta give.
But even typing that seems like some cruel joke. It’s not gonna happen. At least not for this girl.
And as hard as I am on myself at times, I still somewhere deep down believe that I have what it takes to someday get my shit together and myself organized enough to lead a life that at least somewhat reaches the potential I’m capable of. It’s going to take a lot of changes. All of it will be for the best in the end. Remember that. Even the “bad” changes are only so because they’re challenging. That’s all. It’s going to take changes in my daily routine, coping skills, mental health treatment, etc but all of it needs to be done. It should have been done years ago but let’s not get started on that path shall we. No need to add to the confusion of adjusting to a new way of life and living.
Today I think I’ll start with doing a major overhaul around the house and at least start getting my life in some sort of organized fashion again. Baby steps.. Hey, at least it’s a step at all.
And on to other topics. Just a few things I felt worth sharing, including Ani DiFranco’s ‘Studying Stones’ which is currently the soundtrack to my cleaning frenzy. Such a beautiful and touching song. Triggers all sorts of emotions for me, mostly good but I can definitely relate to the general message of the song. So below is the video among a few other randoms tid-bits..Enjoy!
Happy Friday ya’ll!