I wish it were just that simple. Looking around me, I have so much still left to do just in order the survive and thrive from today forward. It’s amazing to take a look into my history of dips and climbs, of progress and regression, of triumph and struggle. I’ve yoyo-ed back and forth between high and low points over the last several years of my life in ways unimaginable. Varying degrees of intensity and severity have often threatened to derail me completely in times before. I’m sure more of those moments are only to come further on in the future of things as well.
I don’t believe that for myself and with all of my mental health/psychological issues I will ever fully come to a place of peace and understanding within and with the surroundings. More than likely that just isn’t in the cards for me. It would be an unrealistic goal for me to shoot myself off towards obtaining without extreme discomfort and unrest. I am how I am and with every passing year that’s increasingly easier for me to accept fully.
All I can ask of myself is to try my best and give things a good, solid go before moving on to something else. I owe it to myself and sense of wellbeing to be able to at least say in reflection of things that I always tried my hardest, no matter what the outcome. Success or failure, I was still strong enough to summon energy to at least say I actively participated in things. After all, these are the memories and details that build upon the story of my life thus far.
I mustn’t forget one thing; I am the author and writer of my story. I navigate the way in which that story unfolds. Creator is my role.